I have this great friend. I shall call her Shelly. She is awesome – a supportive friend and wife, incredibly loving mother, one of the hardest workers I know. Proverbs 31 comes to mind. She’s one of those people that does the right thing, ya know? When no one’s watching. She’s dependable and fun. She’s this fabulous hostess… even when all she has to work with are hot dogs. She keeps secrets – all of them. She has the best laugh I ever heard and she cries at the drop of a pin – because people matter to her. I want her heart.
I work with Shelly. She’s a server, like me. She’s a great server, totally attentive to your root beer and ranch dressing needs. One day, months ago, her son’s school teachers came in to eat and, coincidentally, they were placed in her section. I won’t forget the shame on her face… I can’t get it out of my head. “They’re my age, and they have jobs and educations and salaries. And what am I?” she said with this deep pain on her face, “I’m a waitress.” Who told her?! Who the hell told her that she is ‘less’? Less of a person? Less of a mother? Less of a success than those people? Aw yes, “success” – that purely subjective way in which we measure, and compare, ourselves with our world, our culture, our family and friends, and even our enemies perhaps since jealousy and envy don't make nice friends. “Success” just might be my least favorite word.
If we were honest with ourselves, a lot of us would admit we are indeed waiting for “success”. I mean, come on, why does the lottery exist? “When I have more money I will…” “When I get a better job I want to…” “If I looked like him/her I could…” “After college I will be…” I went to college for eight years, graduated with two four-year degrees, and I can tell you it is a rare day when I hear another two-degree graduate say “I wish I could make $2.13/hour.” Why? Cuz it’s not “successful” to the world! It’s not what you go to college for! You go to college to work up the corporate ladder, to ‘make something of yourself’, and to inevitably make more money than the average Joe [sorry Joe].
There are jobs out there, there are people out there, that are being told that they are less – not as worthy, not as important, not as valuable to society and/or to the human race. They are our trash collectors and our housekeepers and our construction workers and our prisoners and our foreigners and our strippers and our servers… and I’m pretty sure you should take a moment to think of some more. Awareness is a gift… … Is this for real? Do we really live in a world where some people are more expendable than others, or if expendable is too negative for you then should I simply say ‘less useful’? And, on top of that, is this truly, more often than not, based on green rectangular pieces of paper someone long ago attributed value to? Is it truly based on how much melanin is in shades of skin and what pieces of cloth humans choose to cover themselves with on any given day?
I have several friends, ALL of whom want nothing but good and wonderful and fulfilling things for me, that have made the comments, “You are too gifted/too called/too educated/too good at ‘church work’ to be ‘just a server’. Please here me if you have said one or all of these things, I love you and I respect you and I value what you say – but you’re wrong. No one is too gifted/too called/too educated/too good to wash the feet of others… or pick up all the half-eaten food and dirty napkins they leave behind. No one is ‘too good’ for that – in fact, in Jesus’ world, that’s what we’re supposed to aspire to! Backwards, huh?
After Jesus died, and rose from the dead and shocked the crud out of his disciples and then made them breakfast [Do you think Jesus, the Son of God, burned the toast?], Jesus had this great conversation with Peter. [John 21] “Do you love me, Peter?” And Peter’s like, “Um, yeah! You know I do!” Jesus asks him this same question three times, and when Jesus is fully convinced, or should I say when Peter is convinced, Jesus says two words. “Follow me.” Simple enough? Eh, wasn’t enough for Peter - cuz ya see Peter played the comparison/success game that we all play. “What about him? What about that guy? What is he gonna get? What does he get to do? Where does he get to go?” And Jesus, in a voice that to me sounds tender yet firm [think Morgan Freeman mixed with some Ewan McGregor] says, “Why should YOU care? His business is not your business and his road is not your road. Your job is to follow Me.” [Paraphrased by me, of course]
My resume has been circulating among the masses for roughly two and a half years. This has led to one face-to-face search committee encounter and three phone interviews – two of which ended in theological differences concerning dinosaurs and the sexual revolution. Short, yet awkward, story. What I’m saying is, I haven’t had much luck. I look around me and see ministers, male and female alike, finding wonderful positions in strong and passionate churches. These positions offer salaries and vacations and ‘professional accounts’ and health insurance! Can you imagine?! And you know what’s tempting and easy? To consider myself a reject… a failure… an unemployable female minister that isn’t gifted/called/educated/good enough to be in ‘church work’; hence, ‘just a server’. Do I know that God doesn’t look at me like that? Cuz, uh, God doesn’t look at me like that. God sees me and thinks, “Wow, when I created her, I did good!” [P.S. God thinks that about you, too.]
We all have a road – maybe your road is rich and ornate and could be featured on Cribs: Road Edition and maybe your road… isn’t. Maybe you deal with other people’s trash for a living or maybe you own 28 three-piece suits and look over the skyline of some lovely, yet incredibly concrete, ‘Big Apple’ kinda city. Whatever your case, may you remember, or be told for the first time, that you ARE worthy and good and extraordinary. Always more, never less.
The truth is, the world doesn’t know what success is. We can’t. We don’t see the big picture. All we see is the superficial, outward works of life i.e. fame, fortune, fashion, and all that other stuff. For the most part, our eyes don’t see the things that matter. It’s like the wheat and the weeds in Matthew 13. We don’t know which is which. So…
May each of us live life the best we can. May each of us fight to redefine success in the minds of those around us, looking others in the eye and telling them that they matter. May each of us realize that success is about doing something you love for the sake of a Higher Name, and may each of us pray that in the end we will hear, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” Hearing that, my friend, is success.
