Ode to an Aussie

I love my dog. I love him. I thought long and hard about a more complex and philosophical way to start this blog, but I finally quit trying because the truth is, I LOVE my dog. I used to be petrified by dogs. I crossed paths with this really mean wiener dog once when I was three… plus, there was this massive, black dog that used to follow me home from the school bus every day. Terrifying. I would inhale and exhale short, sporadic breaths, walk slowly, and hope beyond hope that he didn’t smell my fear.

This fear, as I aged, morphed into a simple hatred and loathing. They shed, they bark, they salivate, they jump, they have teeth, they must be constrained on a rope of sorts… that should tell you something… dogs were an invaluable breed to me, as in, they had absolutely NO value. However, whether you’ve never heard or are still unconvinced, I must testify that the God who created us – the One in whom we live, and move, and have our being – not only creates but also transforms… our hearts… if we are open to the switch. And on October 30^th in the year 2007, a little ball of red merle fur was birthed into the world in order to fill up a little part of life’s cup that I never knew was empty. My dog rocks. He’s awesome. Some say we have a spiritual connection… like, literally, people say that. Moreover, I now love all dogs – red and yellow, black and white, they are all precious in my sight.

I saw this guy on television a few weeks ago who loves dogs, perhaps more than I do. I would like to tell you a bit about this man, but first I need you to ask yourself if you are under the age of 18. If so, then I’m gonna need you to skip to the next paragraph. Thanks. So about this man... I don’t know much about him, but the few things I do know are that A. he loves dogs, and B. he kidnaps, rapes, and decapitates women for pleasure. I saw him on Dateline. He kidnapped this one girl with a dog, did his disgusting thing to her, took tender care of her dog, and then eventually freed her dog because, as he says, “I could never hurt a living animal.” … … I’m so confused. What?!?! “I could never hurt a living animal.” Umm… you decapitate women for pleasure!!

I mean, I get it. People don’t bark, shed, or salivate [mostly]… but they DO lie, cheat, betray, steal, plot revenge, exploit, abuse, and wage war against one another. Compared to dogs, people definitely give others more reason to hate them. No doubt, there are indeed days when I would much rather hole-up in my little apartment and seek companionship from my unconditionally-loving dog than step out into the world and become vulnerable to some judgmental and sin-filled human. [Sidenote: If you would like, you can replace “dog” with “cat”. They make my lungs, eyes, and throat die… and my heart will never be transformed to love them… but somebody has to.]

I remember that time [er, I remember reading about that time] when God created everything. He put this guy in the middle of this garden, and he told the man to name all of the animals - which begs the question, on what day did God create the alphabet? After this man had completed his very lengthy homework assignment, God realized that no animal created was a suitable companion for the man. So… God made another kind of man, a kind of man even better than the first man [just kidding… not really] called “woman” – because even with all of those unconditionally-loving, awesome animals, God still realized that man would “be alone” and that’s not good [Genesis 2:18].

Here’s my point. I love my dog. I mean, I love him. I truly believe that God gave him to me at the point in my life where I needed him the most. I also believe that it is possible to have a “spiritual connection” with him. [which I DO, btw] However, at the end of the day, I must always admit that my dog… is just a dog. He’s a dog… and God created us to have “spiritual connections” with people… because even though we lie and cheat and steal and wage war, God knows we are still the best possible companions we could ever have.

Now maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “Of course he’s just a dog. And, of course you’re not supposed to place dogs [ok, or cats] in the place of humans. Weirdo!” Judge me if you wish, but I truly believe there are people in this world [ahem, Dateline guy?] that treat animals better than they do the human beings placed in front of them. We are called, and created, to love each other. We are made to treat other human beings with respect and grace and forgiveness, perhaps the same kind you’ve been so generously lavishing upon your labradoodle when he chews up your shoe.

It’s a big deal that God, in the first two chapters of his first book, made such a point to ensure that we were not to be alone. Indeed, it was the first time in two chapters that God called something “NOT good”. We have a God that seeks to take care of us, to provide us with the tools that will aid us best… and, other than food and shelter, the first thing God gave us to wade through the waters of life was each other. 

May we not hole ourselves up in our solitude. May we not allow ourselves to become old spinster “cat ladies” or “dog men”. May you let people in, and may you propel yourself out into the world, as difficult and uncomfortable as it may be. And, perhaps, you will find filled a little part of life’s cup that you never knew was empty.

Did I mention, I love my dog...

Fire Ants

I have this sudden fascination with fire ants; perhaps because they are attacking small children at my place of work. Sweet, unsuspecting children – minding their own business, just swinging on a swing, sliding down the slide and suddenly… ANT ATTACK! Horror movie quality… ok, really not at all. But they DO bite… and it CAN hurt… especially on little people bodies. Obviously we want to squash this horror movie asap; hence, I shall now lesson you in the art of fire ant homicide.

There are many ways to kill a fire ant. Some say pouring club soda on their mound will suffice, others mention garlic, gasoline, urine [picture that], a mixture of peanut butter and boric acid, or death by drowning in boiling water. Another method, though much disputed, suggests sprinkling rice over the mound. This theory proposes that, after being ingested by the fire ants, the rice will expand inside of their bellies, causing them to explode. Boom! Similar to the rice/bird scenario mentioned often at weddings. And let us not discard the old-fashioned, colonial-times way of simply step on them with your boot. All of these methods, though I realize how incredibly scientific they seem to be [wink wink], not only waste groceries but are also the most unsuccessful at long-term prevention. Why, might you ask? Because, in all of these ‘solutions’, you risk the very likely chance of missing the queen. Yes, the queen. The queen is as essential to the livelihood and preservation of ‘fire ant’ world as she is in the game of Chess. You can survive with only your pawn and your rook… but not for long. If you have tried all of your options and yet one single queen survives, she will find a man, er, drone ant and produce several thousand offspring in less than thirty days. Busy bees, er, ants.

Now, I COULD take this time for some gender analysis – brag about how queen ants get to live six or seven years while male/drone ants live approximately four days. I could then mention that female spiders, after having their babies, get to kill and eat their male counterparts; moreover, it is the male in “seahorse world” that gets to have the babies and take care of them while the female seahorse gets to go out with her friends and party all night long. Alas, though that is fun to discuss, I would rather like to write a comparative study on fire ant prevention versus sin prevention in the life of a Jesus-follower. Are ya with me?

If you’re not a perfect person, then sin is a part of your life. If you don’t like the word “sin” [because perhaps you grew up in a very fundamentalist, legalistic household or simply despise all terms “Christian”] then we can easily replace the word “sin” with “mistakes, foibles, screw-ups, faults, shortcomings, and bad habits”. All of those will do just fine. Oftentimes, although this shouldn’t be the case, we i.e. the world like to categorize our sins [mistakes, foibles, screw-ups] into minor and major. Minor examples would be gossip, white lies, and the occasional bout with road rage. Major examples would be serial killing, rape, corporate embezzlement of millions, etc. And the space between ‘major’ and ‘minor’ is a wide and long spectrum of greed, materialism, hypocrisy, alcoholism, cutting and self-mutilation, adultery, abuse… and the list goes on and on. Longer than Santa’s.

And there are people, followers of Jesus and not, who are trying their hardest to eliminate that… junk… from their lives; but here’s the deal… it’s not working. I mean maybe its working for awhile… you might squash this fire ant here or that temptation over there… small victories. But in the end, it always comes back. You’ve seen it a hundred times – on Entertainment Tonight. People losing their lives, mixed up in drugs or sex or hoarding addictions… my gosh, it’s all true. They wake up, they realize it, they try to untwist the mess that they’ve twisted, and it works… for a month, a year, several years… but soon enough, off the wagon once again. It happens to us, too. You and me, the celebrities of our own lives, twisting our actions into things they shouldn’t be. We wake up, we realize it, we try to untwist the mess that we’ve twisted, and it works… for a month, for a year… have you been there? Years ago, I assumed I was healed of a "minor" flaw... and then the frost disappeared and the trees blossomed, and there it was. Infiltrating my life, biting and stinging, all over again.

I didn’t get rid of the queen. The root. The core. The nucleus. The heart of the matter. I stomped on the ants I could see and thought that would cure the chaos. Jesus puts it like this, “And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. For it is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.” Huh… are you picturing this and laughing awkwardly? Gouge?! Bleh, really?! I mean sick, gross, and wrong. What janitor wants to see that in the trashcan? Now, I don’t think Jesus meant this literally. I think Jesus had the fantastic gift of exaggeration in order to wake people up to the truth in their lives. I think Jesus knew [because his Father told him] that no fallible human being can rid themselves of any particular sin until they reach deep within and figure out the issue engraved harshly within their souls. Maybe the core is physical pain, childhood abuse, fear of abandonment, unhealthy body image, the simple dislike of yourself as person… What’s the real deal here… for you? Because I promise you, seriously, you have my word. You will never rid yourself of that burden until you honestly deal with the baggage inside.

How many of us, in so many ways, have been trying to step on thousands upon thousands of fire ants, when the truth is we simply needed to go after the queen?

I urge you to put aside the club soda and the peanut butter. Forget the rice. Find a friend, a counselor, a minister, an Oprah… someone that you truly trust beyond words, and share your heart. God wants His people to be free. God wants us to live in a world where we don’t get stung and bitten by the fire ants in all of our front yards. God wants us, God wants YOU, to enter this life and the one to come with joy and peace. 

May you not be afraid to open the closets [yes, plural] and let the skeletons out – because dealing with THAT truth is what will truly set you free.

Click

I had just gotten off the plane, grabbed some Manchu Wok, and arrived in my seat. My last flight was anything but exciting… quite annoying actually. An incredibly egotistical-looking, pimp-hat-wearing guy that I’d seen drinking beers and flirting with the bartender was assigned to the seat next to me. [I KNEW that would happen, ugh.] He quickly found out I was a minister… I eased it into the dialogue quickly because I thought… ok, hoped beyond hope… that this fact would detract him from further conversation. I then began to look at the Sky Mall catalog [which, on a sidenote, is just SO hilarious to me. Who gets on a plane and decides it is suddenly the right time to purchase a $300 beer cooling system or a $500 massage table that doubles as a quaint little dinette?] Although I was obviously trying my hardest to look incredibly focused and busy with my catalog, he began to look over my shoulder and comment on everything from the dog crate disguised as an end table to one’s own personal refrigerator beer tap. Several minutes later he asked if he could buy me a drink for my generosity in letting him use my Sudoku puzzles. [Yes, I believe he was only trying to feel out my ministerial buttons.] “I’ll buy ya a beer or something if ya want.” I declined, while praying fervently that he would leave me alone to my overpriced novelty items. It was obvious that he was not at all interested in anything religious… and I didn’t push the issue. I could sense he was closed to that idea as well. Longest flight EVER.

So when I got on my next flight I felt two things: First, guilt. Would a good minister have made more effort with flight guy A? Was I supposed to try harder? But second, and most importantly, who would be next? And will they expect to talk to me, or will they leave me alone? [And is it wrong that I want to be left alone?] I sat down by the window with a seat between me and an older gentleman that laughed about stealing some of my Manchu Wok... You know that feeling you get when almost everybody is on the plane and you still have an empty seat next to you? So hopeful… And then the last guy to board the plane walked slowly towards our row and sat down between the two of us. I said a silent prayer.

He was a talker from the get-go, but for some reason it was obvious in my heart that I didn’t mind. I liked it. There was something genuine and passionate and open about him, and I was drawn to the authenticity. He plays basketball with a minister who cusses every now and then and he says it’s the nicest thing… pastors not trying to be perfect. Good, holy, but not perfect. He started into deep, I mean deep issues. Our conversation began to mirror those hardcore, theological ones from my seminary days. I felt like I was in Mark Biddle’s class all over again. “If we’re not loving people, are we really serving God?... ALL people – gay people, homeless people, women, illegal immigrants?”…“Will God really send all people that don’t claim the five letters J-E-S-U-S to hell?”…“Does God really cling to a particular name? Or is it us that cling to a particular name?”… All of these things were what HE was asking/talking about out loud. Very fast-paced. Very all over the place. He might have had a smidge of ADHD inside of him… the flight wasn’t long enough to ask.

He then went into his family, his kids, and this realization he had come to [a ‘Come to Jesus Meeting’ as he called it] while taking a shower four days before. “Something, whether you wanna call it my inner self, my ego, some universal truth or God – something showed me that I should be doing more. I’m not reaching my potential - with my family, with my business. I felt this definite calling that I need to be on a better, higher path. Seriously, if I hadn’t had that ‘Come to Jesus Meeting’ out of nowhere in the shower then I don’t think I would be so open to this conversation right now. I think people are put into our paths for a reason. Honestly, Danielle, you have inspired me to ask Jay [basketball pastor] when his church service is. I wanna find out more about this.”

We talked for an hour and a half – nonstop. He told me about his childhood, growing up in a household where God was never discussed. His wife had been burned by conservative fundamentalism and would be quite harder to reach, he said. He asked me what being a Christian really meant, why I had picked that over Islam, Buddhism, etc. I told him I was too poor for Scientology.

Max was so open, and he kept thanking me for being so open with him. He was continuously amazed at this serendipitous meeting. He continued sharing ways that he felt pulled towards some universal truth. So when he said, “I’ve never been very religious. I don’t go to church or anything. I don’t consider myself religious or spiritual,” I felt very compelled to say, “Max, for a person who says they’re not ‘religious’, you sure seem to have a ministry, a calling, and you seem to have thought a whole lot about God.” I think that threw him off. I think he was hung up on the “religion equals churchgoer” mentality.

We walked off the plane together and gave each other a quick hug. Before we departed, never to see or hear from each other again, he said something I will never forget. “Danielle, if there are pastors like you in this world, I could see myself making that step. If you’re the face of religion, of Christianity, then I think I’m about ready to go all the way.”

Now, let's get somethin' straight here. Reading this could make me sound really prideful and big on myself but PLEASE HEAR ME. The absolute truth is… I didn’t say much! I nodded in agreement far more than words were uttered. I smiled, I listened intently. I commented here and there. I threw out a few opinions concerning love, peace, healing, and reconciliation. I reminded him that HE is changing the world through those youth he trains every day. That’s… about it. And, by God's grace, that was enough. Because God had been, and continues, to work in Max for YEARS! I wasn’t in that shower, or in that conference, or in his marriage, or on that basketball court. I was just a ‘nice lady on a plane’ as he called me – and yet, I got to be there! I got to participate, and watch God click in someone’s mind. I hopefully got to lead him to the right questions [not answers necessarily, but questions] so that he could ‘work out his salvation’ with his own free will. THAT was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. THAT is why I am here, why YOU are here… why we are ALL here. To help reconcile, ever so slowly [or quickly… I mean it was only an hour long flight] someone back to the God that created him/her.

So I have prayed, and will continue to pray, for Max and Katie [Kat], Kyra, and Jace. I will pray that they, as a family, feel pulled by grace and truth and love – realizing how big and great God is.

As for my guilt concerning my coldness towards flight guy A… I have reminded myself that nobody can befriend everybody. It is our job to meet people halfway, open to sharing the Good News of life to anyone we meet; however, it’s also our job to recognize when someone is not ready for that conversation. Forcing “God talk” onto people is not our job…. being prepared, in season and out, when someone is open to it on a plane IS.

So may we all be ready… for those random conversations on a plane, a bus, a carpool… standing in line at Starbucks or watching our dog play at the park. 

May our eyes and ears be wide open to what is going on around us, and may we be attuned to the cries for help and guidance that others throw our way. May we read between the lines, and may we recognize God… on the basketball court, at the dinner table, and most especially in the shower. Because God is whispering to us all.